Some years ago, I came to realise that I was really struggling with my work-life balance. I was also facing difficulties with the most important and precious bond in my life, my relationship with my husband.  I really needed some TLC to soothe me!

What needed to change

mindfulness lightbulb momentI recognised that I needed to change, to transform:

WisdomMind bulletpointMy attitudes to work

WisdomMind bulletpointHow I felt in my own skin

WisdomMind bulletpointThe direction my marriage was going in.

These realisations acted as some of the compelling forces that got me started on the mindfulness trail.

Mindfulness led to a clearer understanding

With regular mindfulness practice, the light dawned that ever since I was a kid I ‘d always associated:

WisdomMind bulletpointSuccess with being hardworking

WisdomMind bulletpointSuccess with being busy.

And so I filled my time up with a full-time job, a part-time job, studying for a degree and as much exercise as I could possibly fit in.  Where did my husband fit in with all of this?  Nowhere much!

A better relationship with my husband

For years I’d given scant acknowledgment of the stability, the thoughtfulness and the love that he brought into our relationship.   It wasn’t until we hit a crisis that I stopped to think about what was going on.

mindfulness delivers TLC in a relationshipI realised that instead of juggling loads of stuff in my head I needed to focus on just one thing – what would make our relationship better?

How did Mindfulness help?

It calmed down my furious flood of thoughts so I could focus on just that one thing, how to strengthen our bond. Now a relationship is a pretty big thing and is made up of lots of different components.  How do you turn it around so you are loving and living together better?

One of the brilliant things about mindfulness is that you learn to allow a calm, quiet space in your head.  And it was in those calm, quiet spaces that the answer to that question came to me.

WisdomMind bulletpointI recognised I needed to be less self-centred. I needed to spend more time with my husband doing things together. Mundane stuff like shopping and housework but also doing fun stuff like going for walks, sharing a joke and the company of our friends.

WisdomMind bulletpointI realised I needed to be a better listener. That meant being in the HERE and NOW rather than allowing my mind to float off into a parallel universe.  Listening and participating in conversations rather than leaving my other half feeling as though he was talking to an empty space.

Mindfulness helped me identify and work on aspects of my own nature

It enabled me to identify and work on aspects of my own nature. The aspects that needed strengthening and the aspects that needed banishing! It helped me appreciate what my husband brought to our relationship and to spot many more opportunities for showing him love and affection.

More TLC in your life and relationships

Using mindfulness to nurture your relationships with yourself and your husband/partner – or any significant ‘other half’ really works. Mindfulness is one of the skills you cultivate and strengthen with a regular meditation practice.

To help you start your own practice I’ve written Your Meditation Starter Kit.  It’s a FREE download that helps you get motivated to start, tells you the basics to put in place and what to expect from your meditation going forward.

If you have got any questions about how mindfulness delivers TLC I’d love to hear from you!  Email me and I’ll respond as soon as I can.

PS. This is a link to Steve’s blog so you can read his words.

PPS. For further reading about Relationships

When your marriage is struggling

Result! More open, inclusive and loving

Married to Mindfulness: How it has helped out the relationship

 

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