Fifteen years ago I had to run to keep up with myself!
- A full-time job.
- A part-time job.
- And as much exercise as possible.
Where was room for my other half with all of this? Nowhere! Not the ideal recipe for TLC for myself or my hubby 🙁
A better relationship with my husband
Inevitably, I faced the prospect of our relationship falling apart as for years I’d given scant acknowledgment of the good things he brought into our relationship. At that time the main focus of my mind was my ‘things-to-do’ list and climbing a career ladder.
But we’d hit crisis point and seeing as going our separate ways was the last thing I wanted, I had to;
- Slow down and do less so I had more time and energy.
- Allow more TLC time for us both.
How did Meditation help?
Meditation slowed me down. It slowed the racing speed of my thoughts and allowed sense of calm and quiet to ease its way in. This quietness gave me the head-space to change how I organised my life:
- To lessen the priority of my ‘Things-To-Do-List’ and switch a new TLC related priority: How could I strengthen our bond?
My morning meditation began with a review. I reflected on what TLC and bond strengthening had happened the previous day (or not). Sometimes all had gone well and sometimes it hadn’t.
- If it had been a ‘bad’ day, I counterbalanced any self-recriminating thoughts with a feeling of kindness, calmness, and patience.
After calming my thoughts down, really useful ‘aha’ thoughts popped up. Moments of insight where ideas of ‘how to do things differently’ occurred to me. Things like;
- Simply spend more time together and talk more.
- Do mundane jobs like shopping and housework as a team.
- Do more fun stuff like going for walks and spending time with friends.
We are still together!
The meditation process worked. And it’s still working (thank goodness) because we’re now working together to develop Wisdom-Mind. Thirty years ago I could never have imagined that we would ever do that, yet now we can!
More TLC in your life and relationships
Using mindfulness to nurture your relationships with yourself and your husband/partner – or any significant ‘other half’ really works. Mindfulness is one of the really useful skills you cultivate and strengthen with a regular meditation practice.
To help you start your own practice I’ve written Your Meditation Starter Kit. It’s a FREE download that helps you get motivated to start, tells you the basics to put in place and what to expect from your meditation going forward.
If you have got any questions about how mindfulness delivers TLC I’d love to hear from you! Email me and I’ll respond as soon as I can.
PS. This is a link to Steve’s blog so you can read his words.
PPS. For further reading about Relationships