Fifteen years ago I had to run to keep up with myself!
- A full-time job.
- A part-time job.
- And as much exercise as possible fitted round the sides.
Where was room for my other half with all of this? Nowhere! No wonder we were struggling…
A better relationship with my husband
Inevitably, I faced the prospect of our relationship falling apart as for years I’d given scant acknowledgment of the good things he brought into our relationship.
At that time my mind was totally focused on my ‘things-to-do’ list and climbing a career ladder.
But we’d hit crisis point. Seeing as going our separate ways was the last thing I wanted, I had to change something and the obvious answer was changing me.
- I decided to slow down and do less so I had more TLC time and energy for us both.
How did Meditation help?
Meditation helped me put my wishes into practice. It slowed the racing speed of my thoughts and allowed sense of calm and quiet to ease its way in.
This quietness gave me clarity on changing how I organised my life. To lessen the priority I gave to my ‘to-do’ list and switch to a more important one – how to nurture ‘us’ and strengthen our bond.
Meditation TLC
To help me put this new point of view into practice, my morning meditation began with some reflection. I reviewed what TLC and bond strengthening I’d done the previous day (or not). In the beginning, sometimes it had gone to plan. And sometimes it hadn’t.
- If it had been a ‘bad’ day, I counterbalanced any self-recriminating thoughts with a generating feeling of kindness, calmness, and patience towards myself.
Usually some really useful ‘aha’ thoughts then popped up with new ideas of how to do things differently occurred to me. None of this was rocket science. It all came down to really simple, practical stuff:
- Spend more time together and talk more.
- Do mundane jobs like shopping and housework as a team.
- Do more fun stuff like going out for the day or spending time with friends.
We’re still together!
All those same prioritised activities worked and are still working (she says after their 30 something anniversary). That’s not to say we’re lovey-dovey all day, every day.
We still get grumpy with each other.
Sometimes we still can’t see each others point of view.
But we try to get past those within minutes, so the rest of the day isn’t filled with feeling on-the-edge, anxious or like there’s unfinished business. That is a much nicer way of living!
If you have got any questions mindfulness meditation or the above blog, I’d love to hear from you! Email me and I’ll respond as soon as I can. xx Annya
PS. This is a link to Steve’s blog so you can read his words.
